For the best experience viewing this site you need the Flash Player installed and JavaScript enabled.




Mom and Dad, thank you for always believing in me and for loaning me all that money when I squandered my life savings on that Ford F650 Superduty full-size pickup, and all the gas it takes to drive it.

Bubba, you're my brother. Not just because we have the same parents, but because we're friends.

David Jay, thank you for shooting our wedding for free. I'm going to tell all my friends about you and hopefully you'll be able to shoot all of their weddings for free too.

Casper you're like grapes and sunshine and chocolate chips. I love you like the stars love the moon.

Ford, thank you for making such dependable, long-lasting full-size pickups and SUVs.

This one goes up to the big guy in the sky. Without you I never would have met my best friend that day at 711.

Kirby, how can I thank you enough? You bought me my first ski mask and tought me the ways of the streets. That's experience you can't buy. Or steal.

Martha Stuart, you give me hope that someone can do hard time and still bounce back. Every time I "shop" at K-mart, I am inspired by your new line of plates. I may actually buy them. Legit.

Oscar Meyer Weiner co., without you, I would starve. Being a full time shoplifter I can't afford no fancy sandwiches. Thanks for selling those hot dogs so cheap and keeping my tummy full.

Dearest Jojo, my partner in life.. my partner in crime. You always have my back and you always have a getaway car. Til' hard time do us part.